Control Dramas and Pain Addictions
April 6th, 2008
In your life, it would seem like you would do everything you could to avoid pain. After all, that’s the way our bodies are designed and that’s what our instincts were crafted to do. “Avoiding pain” is a great motivator, yet pain is not something most of us seek out. So why do we still experience so much of it?
The Motivation For Pain
You might want to ask yourself what your motivation for pain really is. This sounds like a trick question, but if you are honest with yourself, you might be surprised to admit that you do have a reason for being in pain. For example, if you notice that people pay attention to you when you have a headache, you might notice you get more headaches. If you see that you simply get attention when another drama unfolds in your life, you might (albeit subconsciously) encourage more drama in your life. This can also be referred to as a control drama.
The Vicious Cycle of Perceived Pain
It can become a vicious cycle of pain that we don’t even recognize anymore because we’re so hooked. Only after sitting alone and thinking about our run ins with pain can we begin to see a pattern of our own involvement. Even when it seems like there’s no root cause to our pain, we can trace it back to a skewed perception of a situation, turning it into a painful ordeal instead of something that just rolls off our backs. Could it just be an excuse we give ourselves to bail out of another situation that we are not comfortable in?
Control Dramas and Comfort Zones
Pain is a pretty good reason to stop doing what you are working on right now! We tend to play out little control dramas to ourselves and make up stories and excuses that justify and give us reason to quit. Don’t recognize these symptoms? Well, welcome to superhero status! Most people have this ability. I fight off these excuses every day. Sometimes they come by thick and fast. I know that’s when I’m out of my comfort zone.
So how can we stop the perceived pain? First of all, there are some rules to life that you might want to begin following:
- Emotions. Don’t take things personally
- Concience. You aren’t the only one that has to do everything
- Guilt. You don’t have to be anything more than who you are (or want to be)
Control The Situation
You can start this process of relearning your pain responses by writing down everything that causes you pain in a journal for a few days.
Once this time is over, look over the things you have listed and honestly assess whether you could have controlled the situation. If you could have, then you know you are inflicting your own pain. And now you can do something about it!
You can read more about Control Dramas in “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield.
Have a most outstanding day
Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
SeanRasmussen.com © 2004 - 2008
At the end of the day, though, it was my own choice to work through the holidays. I have no one to blame than myself for my own decisions and choices. And the news is this: Nor have you! We are all born with the power of Choice and Free Will. That is a powerful thing to have and something to be eternally grateful for. We make decisions every day that affect our own and others lives, for good and bad. So, with that in mind, let’s talk about 
When you think about what makes you tick, you need to realize that your free will is what sets you apart from other species. You aren’t acting on instinct most of the time – you’re acting based on your choices and your ability to reason out your choices. That’s free will. So when you want to change something in your life, you need to call upon this free will to make the right decision. And that’s where things get tricky.
What does work is creating a new way of thinking in our brains that will compel us to make better choices that are more in line with our goals. By creating lists of reasons for wanting to reach a certain goal or measuring our progress as we move toward a particular goal, we can begin to see a compelling argument for moving our will into a different direction.