Sean Rasmussen

In your life, it would seem like you would do everything you could to avoid pain. After all, that’s the way our bodies are designed and that’s what our instincts were crafted to do. “Avoiding pain” is a great motivator, yet pain is not something most of us seek out. So why do we still experience so much of it?

The Motivation For Pain

You might want to ask yourself what your motivation for pain really is. This sounds like a trick question, but if you are honest with yourself, you might be surprised to admit that you do have a reason for being in pain. For example, if you notice that people pay attention to you when you have a headache, you might notice you get more headaches. If you see that you simply get attention when another drama unfolds in your life, you might (albeit subconsciously) encourage more drama in your life. This can also be referred to as a control drama.

The Vicious Cycle of Perceived Pain

It can become a vicious cycle of pain that we don’t even recognize anymore because we’re so hooked. Only after sitting alone and thinking about our run ins with pain can we begin to see a pattern of our own involvement. Even when it seems like there’s no root cause to our pain, we can trace it back to a skewed perception of a situation, turning it into a painful ordeal instead of something that just rolls off our backs. Could it just be an excuse we give ourselves to bail out of another situation that we are not comfortable in?

Control Dramas and Comfort Zones

Pain is a pretty good reason to stop doing what you are working on right now! We tend to play out little control dramas to ourselves and make up stories and excuses that justify and give us reason to quit. Don’t recognize these symptoms? Well, welcome to superhero status! Most people have this ability. I fight off these excuses every day. Sometimes they come by thick and fast. I know that’s when I’m out of my comfort zone.

So how can we stop the perceived pain? First of all, there are some rules to life that you might want to begin following:

• Emotions. Don’t take things personally
• Concience. You aren’t the only one that has to do everything
• Guilt. You don’t have to be anything more than who you are (or want to be)

Control The Situation

You can start this process of relearning your pain responses by writing down everything that causes you pain in a journal for a few days.

Once this time is over, look over the things you have listed and honestly assess whether you could have controlled the situation. If you could have, then you know you are inflicting your own pain. And now you can do something about it!

You can read more about Control Dramas in “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield.

Have a most outstanding day

Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
SeanRasmussen.com © 2004 - 2008

Recently, someone told me my body temporarily broke down because I was giving to much to others and not having enough time to myself. It stopped me in my tracks! I was forced to spend time on me…

Uncover The Mystery That Is “Your Life”

If there comes a point in your life when you simply can’t see the answers, you might feel pain and frustration with yourself. It seems like you should be able to help yourself uncover the mystery that is your life, so when you can’t figure things out, you might start to berate yourself for even trying. Though it seems like the rest of the world keeps us from being happy, we’re actually our own hardest audience. And that’s why a new relationship with your own identity is in order.

Look at yourself in the mirror right now – what do you see? You probably see the flaws in yourself or you don’t take the time to look at yourself because you feel like a disappointment to everyone. Now, look again in the mirror and pretend that you know this person, but that they are a separate identity from you. Think of this person as your best friend. Would you say that same things to them that you are saying to yourself whenever something goes wrong? Probably not.

So What Do You Do For Your Best Friend? You…

• Help them see another solution

• Cheer them on when they are feeling low

• Let them vent and be frustrated

• Ask them if they need help

• Point out things that might not be correct in their thinking

• Always focus on the positive points

• Support them unconditionally

And yet, we rarely do these things for ourselves. Looking over this list, doesn’t this look like just what you need in order to feel better when things are rough?

Each time you begin to attack yourself or get down on yourself for something, try to look at the situation as though it were happening to someone else and not to you. Not only will you learn to be gentler on yourself, but you might also find that you do like yourself much more than you realized. And you might want to be your own best friend.

Have a most outstanding day, my friend

Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
SeanRasmussen.com © 2004 - 2008

We all want some sort of improvement in our lifes. Many people want change. But are we all prepared to initiate the change needed to experience change? To quote one of my mentors, Kurek Ashley from the Life Success Club:

BE - DO - HAVE:  To BE a successful person, you have to DO the things that person does to HAVE the benefits that person enjoys. 

DO the things that are required to HAVE the results (benefits). For most of us, that means change…

Are You Ready For Change?

Nearly every day, we’re trying to change something in our lives. Whether we’re trying to get to work on time, or we’re simply trying to eat a better lunch, our lifestyle undergoes constant changes as a result of our moods, our schedules, and others around us. But when you want to make a bigger change in your life, you need to make sure you are ready for that change. Are you ready? Here’s how to find out.

What is Your Motivation?

Your motivation is the best indicator of your readiness to change. You need to have a clear reason behind trying to change something in your life. For example, if you want to quite smoking, you might be motivated by a bad health test result or by an illness of another smoker you know. By keeping this motivator in your head, you can refer bad to this idea whenever you ‘forget’ why you’re making the lifestyle change in the first place.

What is Your Goal?

For many people, change isn’t as simple as it sounds. Because you might feel like there are numerous things to change, the lack of focus can ensure that you’re not achieving any goals on your list. Try to write down and come up with one goal that you can work toward in your life. This might be something as simple as quitting smoking or something as complicated as eating healthier. And however you define these goals is what you should be working toward.

What is Your Environment?

In order to change your lifestyle, your motivation and your goal aren’t enough. You also need to make sure your environment supports you. If you fill your home with junk food when you want to quit junk food – this isn’t a supportive environment, is it? Figure out what you need to change in your environment first to be certain that your subsequent changes are easier.

Again, in Kurek Ashleys words: BE - DO - HAVE.  To BE the person, you have to DO the things, to HAVE the results.

Are You Ready For Change?

Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
SeanRasmussen.com © 2004 - 2007

Where on earth did I get the term Success Communicator from? Well, It actually has to do with the one thing that differentiates us humans from the animals; The Art of Communication (in detail). Yes, animals communicate too and yet we humans have the ability to articulate ourselves to the degree that we can make the smallest thing very detailed. At least that’s what we like to tell ourselves. Some people fail miserably when communicating with others.

Being a Success Communicator

When people look at you, do they see hesitation in your eyes or confidence? If you need to give a speech to your friends or colleagues, are you excited or nervous? Communication is something that’s a part of everyone’s lifestyle, so why is it more difficult for some than for others?

The good news is that there are ways to become a success communicator instead of someone who projects fear and nervousness. The better news is that you can still be nervous and scared, but no one will even know.

Find Another Focus

Instead of worrying about how you sound or what you look like, try to focus on what you’re saying. Whatever you need to communicate, make sure it’s something that gets you excited. When your motivation is a personal topic or reference, you can relax about the other things that worry you. Outward focus points are also good, like a friend in the crowd or a point on the back wall far away from everyone else. And if all else fails, simply think of something you are grateful for. That should put a smile on your face.

Practice Your Speech

To be a successful communicator, you need to be certain your speech not only makes sense, but that it also helps to inspire people in some way. You might want to start by practicing your speech with a trusted friend or partner. They can give you their honest opinion in plenty of time to help you make any changes that may be necessary. Remember, if your speach (communication) doesn’t benefit any of the listeners, then what is the point of delivering it?

Awareness

When you stop to consider what’s making you nervous, you can tackle these obstacles long before you say a word. Take thirty seconds to write down all the things that make you nervous about your speech or talk. Then write down ways to address those anxieties. If you can’t address them at all, stop worrying about them.

No matter how often or how little you need to speak to others, being prepared for any problems is the best advice. In time, you might even begin to like talking in front of others.

These are only some key points and recommendations. Simply being ‘aware’ of the way you communicate is always going to improve your skills in The Art of Communication and to reinforce your sence of identity.

Become a better communicator and all areas of your life is bound to improve.

Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
SeanRasmussen.com © 2004 - 2007

In my own life, I have had plenty of advice. Much of it has been good. It wasn’t however until I made a conscious effort to be 100% in charge of my own decisons that I experienced The Feeling of Success. My results are the reward of my own efforts and I have no one to blame for anything. No excuses! It’s a good place to be. I’m still grateful, I give credit where it is due and thank plenty of people for their efforts in helping me. I’m still 100% responsible for my own results.

Choose Your Own Dreams

If you stopped for a moment to consider the things you want in your life, you might be surprised at how long the list is. Whether they are things that will improve your lifestyle or that will simply provide you with pleasure, we all want a lot. Some of it, we may never have, but much of it we will if we work hard and focus on those items as goals. Before you start reaching for certain things in your life, take a moment to consider if the things you want are things you actually want.

Too often, we want things…

Because Others Want You to Have It

Our parents and friends mean well, but a lot of the time, they have ideas for our lives that may not be congruent with who we actually are and what we actually want. But if they tell us a number of times that we ‘need’ something or that we actually DO want something, we begin to put those things on our list of necessary achievements. For example, perhaps you don’t want a house and you’re content to live in an apartment. Just because others want you to have a house, and there is plenty of motivation for you to have that house, doesn’t mean that you really want it. Your interpretation of success if probably totally different to that of your family and friends.

Because You Want to Be Like…

Keeping up with the Joneses is something we struggle with on a daily basis. By taking the time to evaluate whether a certain item is something that we actually want for ourselves, we can begin to stop playing catch up and start bringing into our lives the things that really bring us joy. You want your own, truly unique, empowered identity, not the identity of someone else. Someone else will always have something that you want, but that doesn’t mean that you will actually enjoy having it in your life.

Chase The Lifestyle – Not The Achievement

Know what you want. Forget what others want you to have. It’s your life and as long as you stay ethical, your dreams and goals will be yours to enjoy. Stay focused and keep your mind on the end result. Your lifestyle will be much better if you’re doing the things you ‘really’ want to do. Opportunity knocks on everyones door.

Chase your own dreams… Success awaits us all. Accept it when it knocks on your door!

Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
SeanRasmussen.com © 2004 - 2007