Recently, someone told me my body temporarily broke down because I was giving to much to others and not having enough time to myself. It stopped me in my tracks! I was forced to spend time on me…
Uncover The Mystery That Is “Your Life”
If there comes a point in your life when you simply can’t see the answers, you might feel pain and frustration with yourself. It seems like you should be able to help yourself uncover the mystery that is your life, so when you can’t figure things out, you might start to berate yourself for even trying. Though it seems like the rest of the world keeps us from being happy, we’re actually our own hardest audience. And that’s why a new relationship with your own identity is in order.
Look at yourself in the mirror right now – what do you see? You probably see the flaws in yourself or you don’t take the time to look at yourself because you feel like a disappointment to everyone. Now, look again in the mirror and pretend that you know this person, but that they are a separate identity from you. Think of this person as your best friend. Would you say that same things to them that you are saying to yourself whenever something goes wrong? Probably not.
So What Do You Do For Your Best Friend? You…
• Help them see another solution
• Cheer them on when they are feeling low
• Let them vent and be frustrated
• Ask them if they need help
• Point out things that might not be correct in their thinking
• Always focus on the positive points
• Support them unconditionally
And yet, we rarely do these things for ourselves. Looking over this list, doesn’t this look like just what you need in order to feel better when things are rough?
Each time you begin to attack yourself or get down on yourself for something, try to look at the situation as though it were happening to someone else and not to you. Not only will you learn to be gentler on yourself, but you might also find that you do like yourself much more than you realized. And you might want to be your own best friend.
Have a most outstanding day, my friend 
Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
SeanRasmussen.com © 2004 – 2008
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
This was a great post. It reminds me of something I learned from the Four Agreements:
If you don’t like what someone else has to say, you can walk away.
But if you don’t like what you have to say about yourself you can’t walk away.
If you’re with yourself all the time you might as well be nice to yourself.
=)
Thanks Jonathan. That is a good point and it really drives home the importance to be especially nice to yourself. We live in our own skin and we might as well like it.
Being friends with youself sounds like fun, but every relationship can benefit from a nice constructive conflict. Even if that conflict is inside your soul. Being gentler on yourself does not work in some cases. Strictness does not mean a lack of love.
Hi Igor. Sure. I agree. My points are directed to the fact that majority of people are far too harsh on themselves. Self worth is possibly at an all time low and teenage suicides are through the roof. We don’t want conflicts going too far but I do get your point. Thanks for your feedback.
Hi Sean! I really love this post. You do give a lot of time to others and it will all come back to you in many way even if that’s not the reason you give. I do believe in karma as I see it every day and usually when I never expect it. “Be your own best friend.” – what a great phrase!
I like the idea of putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes and I try to do that in virtually every situation. I live life like I’m in a never ending classroom…it never ends. I have really made such great strides in coping with life’s setbacks and even if I fail, I will never stop – only death can stop me.
I’m almost finished reading your book. I’m working too many hours, but I have taken the time to read. I will definitely write a recommendation for you! Have a great day and stay on your path. You are an inspiration to me and I for one appreciate it!
Thanks Bobby. Indeed, you are an inspiration to me too! I frequent your blog often and recommend it to many. Keep up the good work yourself. Thanks a lot.
What a really interesting concept – I hadn’t come across the idea of stepping outside of oneself, to analyse problems as if they were the problems of a stranger. But it makes a lot of sense.
I know when I have made mistakes, it is easy to beat myself up about it, and dwell on it longer than I should, longer than required to learn from a particular mistake. But I would never do this to a friend of mine. Why? Well, I guess if I did excessively berate a friend, then they may not be my friend for very long.
However, I am kind of stuck with me no matter how badly I treat myself. Might as well play nice.
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Hi Sean,
I love this concept and it’s another I’m working on mastering. I find that it’s easier for me to be kind and accept flaws in others but my expectations for myself are different.
I’m harder on myself than others because I feel I should know better. I know what the right things to do are and if I haven’t done them I feel disappointed in myself. I’m trying to hold myself to some higher standard that most of the time I have no chance of living up to.
I would never expect perfection from my friends. I’m still learning to be kind to myself and be my own best friend.
Most times we are like a freshly painted wall, and we feel good about that wall. Then a fly comes along and lands on that beautiful wall and all we can see is the rotten fly. We neglect all those fabulous square metres of beautiful wall for the tiny speck of a fly.
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Hi Sean,
That’s good advice. Be my own best friend. I can be my own worst enemy at times and not even realize it. I have learned though to not be too hard on myself and to give myself credit where credit is due.
If I don’t no one else will.
Jill.
Great post Sean
I’ve been going through a period where nothing has been going right for me. I have turned it around because I have belief in myself and a PMA.
Danny
Reading this post today is really strange, as I was a bit like Sean, always saying yes even when I didn’t really want to, I never wanted to let anyone down, Today I said NO to someone only because I had decided I just didn’t want to Sew anymore, then started justifying my decision………..what I should have just said is “No I am not doing that anymore” so I am learning to look out for me
I have tended to be my own worst critic so your ideas are very handy. I will look at implementing this and take the pressure off myself
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I love the idea that there is a mystery of my life to uncover – like an adventure that I definitely want to do!
At the end of the day we have only got ourselves to lean on (literally). And there are times where I can be quite hard on myself – so these questions and going through a daily ritual will help.
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