The Point Of No Return

Yesterday afternoon, a lady was killed 400 meters from my home.

I arrived home after picking up my sons from School. Her car was in the neighbors frontyard, all mangled up. The old Redgum and Jarrah trees in the footpath had mere scratches on them from her car as it had bounced off them. The SES unit was there with a firetruck and the Police. Yesterday, yet another soul was lost on the road.

I didn’t know her, but to me she was:

  • Someone’s Mother
  • Someone’s Sister
  • Someone’s Daughter

Somewhere, hearts would be broken when the news reached them. Sadly, I might have known the bad news before her loved ones…

The Point Of No Return

Last night, I sat on the trampoline in my backyard, looking up at the stars. A full moon lit up the night and it was like every star in the sky had come out to play. My wife was still in Bunbury and would be arriving home any time. Every headlight from a car that went past on the highway could be her. The SES emergency unit was still working away with the wreckage of the mangled car. I could hear their two-way radio crackling away in the night as I helplessly watched them do their thing from a distance.

The thought came to me: What would I do to help this lady and her family get her back? What would I be prepared to do – to sacrifice – to bring her back from The Point Of No Return?

Don’t Go There, Sean

It’s a very tough question. Many emotions come out when confronted with a question like this and most people cannot cope with that question. They are just not prepared to go there… I don’t blame them. I think I could be one of them. It’s a bloody tough question to ask yourself. Would you give away your family home to get a strangers life back? Would you halve your income for 3 months? What would you be prepared to do? I know what her family would have done: Just about anything!

Just to get this lady back from The Point Of No Return

The Life Lesson

I explained the situation to my sons. I want them to learn from life without the cotton wool. A lady had lost her life close by and I wouldn’t let this go to waste. If at least I could teach my sons a life lesson from this. Their attention was with me as I explained the emotions of losing a loved one – how this lady was only a few years older than me – and that she may have been someone’s Mother, Daughter, Sister or Wife. My sons are sensible kids and care a lot for other people’s feelings. As my son played “Song For Guy” by Elton John on the piano shortly after, I thought that this one was for her. Then he played “Doves Of Peace” and I dedicated the song to her in my mind.

The Point Of No ReturnMy thoughts are with this lady and her family. Know that, even though she was a total stranger to me, I do care.

Life is fragile. It can be taken away in a snap moment. Take nothing for granted. Love every moment and be grateful. And when grief strikes other people, appreciate the pain they go through. Life does go on, but let’s not get to immune to other people’s grief when they reach the point of no return.

Let me share this final thought with you:

One day you will see your life flash before your eyes. Make sure it is a life worthwhile watching

Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
Aussie Internet Marketer © 2004 – 2009

About Sean Rasmussen

Sean Rasmussen is a passionate blogger and has been a full time internet marketer since 2005. When he's not with his family, or dog Buddy, Sean is usually blogging or doing something related to the internet.

Comments

  1. Heather Marston says:

    Your comments are so true and yet we all take so much for granted. Our lives and those of the ones we love. We need comments like yours to remember and to take a reality check.

  2. touching, and may help with the urgency that so many people (like myself) need to achieve do experience what is important to them.

  3. Hello Sean
    Life gives us some very hard lessons at times. Your thoughts and subsequent actions show you are a very caring person. To pass this caring onto your family and for them to respond is as much as one could hope for.

    My thoughts and well wishes are also with the family of all concerned including yours.

    White light and peace to all.
    Marney

  4. Oh so true and yes we do take so much for granted. Having been around that point of no return myself recently with the senseless loss of two young lives in totally unrelated circumstances I have felt this very same sadness for those left behind. Coming across an accident is the worst feeling. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  5. A young man wrapped his car around a tree about the same distance away from my house. I drove past the scene and was horified at the site.. car twisted like a pretsil and the blue sheet over the drivers area… The accident (speeding) was along my running path. Every time I run past that site I’m reminded that that was someones Son, Grandson, Brother – and hell, maybe father.

    It hits you in a place you don’t venture often, something that you rather not think about because it’s just to darn hard and painful to think about.

    I applaud you for teaching your sons the life lesson. We have far to many kids who don’t respect anything simply because they were not tough to respect them. A part of life is death.. My comment is now becoming a tad macabre so I’m going to go and do some work now 🙂

  6. I know this all too well. I have wasted far too much time already. I haven’t even been thinking of other’s besides myself. But, in the past 2 1/2yrs now. I have been recovery from addiction of drugs & alcohol. I am not trying my best to help other’s that a still in the addiction trap. It far too hard for some to get out of. I barley made it out of that lifestyle myself. I pray everyday that I never return. I work on making sure that I don’t ever return to that life. I have been helped with blessing from God. Without his help, I doubt if I would be here writing this now. I have been blessed by him so much. I feel the need to make sure I help others just like my former self. Thanks for the wakeup call and your right we need to make sure we spend our whole life doing something worth while. Not to take it for granted and live and learn more.

  7. Thank you Sean
    Your post was a moving one , and as I began to read it , I felt I was along side you on that trampoline questioning why on a lot of similar circumstances in my life !

    None of us are amuned to The Point Of No Return and we will all meet our maker one day, we also will experience what that ladies family and friends did when they were given the news of her death. So Sean I am proud of how you seized the moment not in disrespect of this lady, yet to explain some cold hard facts of life to your sons ,which quite honestly some people refuse to accept.

    Allen Sentance
    Fisherman
    .-= Allen Sentance Fisherman´s last blog ..Bush Walking Around Adelaide River Village =-.

  8. The point of no return is a very apt phrase you have chosen Sean. Having experienced the unexpected and shocking loss of someone who meant the world to me has left a wound that has really only healed on the surface. Reading your post brings it all back to the surface as I miss him dearly and life will never be the same, but I am a much better person for having known him and he lives on in my heart. My heartfelt sympathy goes out for this lady’s family and friends.
    One’s life really is only the blink of an eyelid so remember to always make the best of it and leave behind a legacy that will always warm somebody’s heart.
    .-= Sims´s last blog ..Victoria Bush Fires claims one of our own. =-.

  9. That is an incredibly sad story Sean. At a time like this there are so many questions asked and never any answers given. The void that the loss of that ladies life will leave in her loved ones hearts will never be filled and a day in their lives will never pass without them thinking of her. The loss of lives on our roads is a tragic reminder to us all that life is so fragile and can be lost in a heartbeat and no matter how much care we take, it can still happen to any of us. What would we do to give back that ladies life to her family – anything. What can we do – nothing but support them in their grief and remember that their loss is eternal. Sitting alone at night and watching the stars and the heavens, when you seem to be able to see for ever and feel the tranquility of the universe, has a therapeutic effect of bringing an inexplicable peace to our being – for every grieving soul let the tears flow and feel the peace – it is the beginning of a slow healing process.

  10. Yes it is so sad
    My heart goes out to all who have lost loved ones and this year there has been enough your words had me reflecting on those around me who have lost mothers, a daughters, a sister, a son, and a father
    So often there is not a thing anyone else can do about the final outcome it is in Gods hands
    All we can do is be there for support

  11. Mike Fulgaro says:

    Moving and thought-provoking. Sean.

    I do believe that we all-too often forget (and many all-too often fail to believe) that we are all cousins, going way back through billions of years to a single common ancestor.

    All life on Earth is precious, but we humans have mostly failed in fostering the love that’s needed amongst each other to make this world a better place.

    And to the one person who had to mention God here…get over it! Life is in the here and now…don’t go waiting for the “raptures of paradise”, or you might miss out on living the only life you get.

    Faith is for the credulous…and blasphemy is a victimless crime.

    Please check out the musings of the great Carl Sagan, shortly before his death in 1996.

    http://sciencereligionnews.blogspot.com/2007/12/carl-sagan-on-life-death-and-religion.html

  12. Thanks for your thoughts Sean,

    Mortality becomes more present in mind when happens right on your back doorstep. It reminds us that it can all be taken away in an instant and to do the very best we can with today. I’m sure everyone has been touched by tragic circumstances in some way, which allows us to have compassion for others. My heart goes out to that lady’s family and friends.

    You have strength in your parenting to take this tragedy and turn that into a lesson for your boys while supporting them through the process. Too often we are told to protect our children from the harshness of life, but I believe that if children are made aware of the of these things in a loving and supportive environment they develop and grow into well balanced and compassionate adults.

    Again, thanks for your thoughts
    .-= Bev Langford´s last blog ..How do I become a successful affiliate through Internet Marketing? ~ Part 4 =-.

  13. Hi all,
    I’m a firie & we deal with these emotions on a regular basis. If there is one thing I have seen all too often it is drink driving & the aftermath. Without preaching too hard please think before driving after too many ales….life is fragile. Be well…Scotty

  14. We hear tragic stories almost every day on the TV and radio news. It’s very easy to just switch the off button and not think about it. Your account of what happened so close to your home reminds us that we all need to have compassion and kind thoughts for the family and friends of those that have died, tragically or otherwise, whether it be close to home, in the next street or suburb, or another state or country. Thanks for sharing.

  15. Harry Lynn says:

    G’day Sean,
    Your story really touched me deeply. It’s difficult to express myself under these sad circumstances, especially following the previous excellent writers, but the most outstanding points are your thought about the lady being someone’s mother / sister / daughter, and the other is how you explained to the boys about what had happened.
    In conclusion, I’m very happy and grateful to be part of your organisation and the honesty and integrity it teaches.
    Kindest Regards
    Harry

    • Thanks Harry
      I feel that these moments of “truth” make me stronger by making me more grateful for what I have. I even start to appreciate the bad things (the lessons) that happen to me.

  16. Sean, that was a beautiful written article that respected that women and also conveyed the fragility of life so elequantly.

    I think that thinking of the point of no return is a place that many don’t really ever want to think about as it does leave you so vulnerable and open. It also reminds you how unjust life can feel at times.

    I have to thank you for writing this piece and for ending it with “One day you will see your life flash before your eyes. Make sure it is a life worthwhile watching”. This has really hit home to me and my intention is most definitely to have lived a life worthwhile of watching.

    My deepest condolences to all affected by this tragedy.

  17. Thanks for your thoughts Sean. Really makes you think about whats important doesn’t it.
    .-= Aaron Schubert´s last blog ..Kalbarri =-.

  18. Thanks for sharing Sean. I lost my Dad when I was only 17 – since then I think I have been jamming so much into my life because you just don’t know when your time is up. I am glad you shared that with your kids, many would want to sheild them from lifes realities. I hope her family are celebrating her life, I am sure she is missed dearly.
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..Sign Language for Babies =-.

  19. Hi Sean

    Some interesting questions came up for you when this woman left the earth. It’s wonderful that you took the opportunity to learn the life lesson from her passing – to teach something special to your sons, to share this with the world on your blog and to just think. I’m stating the obvious when I say we’re not here forever, but I think that’s what’s half the beauty of human life. It has to end some day to make room for more growth. I have grown because this woman has moved on from this life. Thank you. Rest her soul.
    .-= Lina Nguyen´s last blog ..How to make comments online and build your online persona =-.

  20. gosh that is a hard lession to teach, but one that is needed. That’s a deep question “What would you do to bring her back from the point of No Return” Sometimes there is nothing that you can do because it was her time to go. I so wish that was not the case….we lived at D’aguilar until recently for over 7 years and we heard sirens going nearly every weekend. Usually it was for bike riders or young inexperienced riders. Over those 7 years there was cross after cross added to the road. WHEN will people realise that they are not going to bounce? They are going to get hurt, or worse if they speed, if they do the wrong thing on the road, or if they are too young to handle the roads condition.
    PLEASE slow down on the roads. With five boys I keep letting them know that they need to be aware of the road, and show them crosses so they can see that the person was real….May the lady be resting in peace for evermore, and that her family heal with time.
    .-= Lisa Wood´s last blog ..Its Meant To Be =-.

  21. Jazz Salinger says:

    Hi Sean,

    This post was a very beautifully written piece. We do need to cherish each moment because we never know which one will be our last. I think it’s important to ensure that your family and those closest to you know how much they mean to you. Never leave anything unsaid because you might just miss the chance to say it.

    Sean, I think you did a great thing in explaining the situation to your boys. Too often children are not talked to about what is going on and instead work it out from bits and pieces of whispered conversations and what they do get is usually wrong. I think hearing about loss of life is best coming from someone they love and trust.

  22. Sean

    Your story really touched me. It brought back memories when my daughter was killed in a car accident many miles away. No fault of her own. Apparently the other driver had a fit at the wheel. When I learnt this my emotions started to rage. After a while I realized no matter what I did nothing would change the fact.

    Now it was time for arrangements, mourning, tending to her daughter who was in the car at the time. She is such a brave girl. Thankfully she is not to far away so that we can spend lots of time with her and talking to her about her mum.

    There is no worse experience than losing a child. But life goes on
    .-= Gee´s last blog ..Why You Should Just Ignore Fad Diets (Part 2) =-.

    • Jazz Salinger says:

      Hi Gee,

      I’m so very sorry for your loss, Gee. I’ve been through a similar experience and I understand completely the rage that you felt. People say that it gets easier, but I think we learn to live with it. I don’t think that there is anything that anyone can say that will make it better but it’s nice to know they care. I’m very glad that your Grand-daughter is okay. She is very lucky to have such a wonderful Grandfather in her life.

    • Gee,
      I am really sorry about what happened. It is always a tragedy if someone gets taken before their time. Its tough lessons of life and it is hard to see anything like a glimpse of light in such a situation. But I am sure your daughter will not be forgotten, which is what counts.
      .-= Renee´s last blog ..Motivational Music =-.

    • Hi Gee, I am so sorry for your loss. Life is not so easy at times and it is hard to understand the why and why there is also a need to keep on going, however we are all a unique part to a very unique plan and I know you have the strength to keep going. Enjoy your granddaughter!

      Love and light to you.

  23. Thanks Jazz for your kind thoughts.

    It is a pleasure to consider you as a friend. Hopefully we can meet up before too long.

    My grand daughter is living with my 2nd daughter and her partner who are giving her a loving environment.. They are in the process of trying to become her guardians as the father is a bit unstable. A few legal hurdles to overcome but I’m sure it will all work out
    .-= Gee´s last blog ..Why You Should Just Ignore Fad Diets (Part 2) =-.

    • Jazz Salinger says:

      Hi Gee,

      I’m sure everything will work out fine. Your grand-daughter is very lucky to be surrounded by such a loving and supportive family. I’m sure her future will be wonderful. Best wishes to you and your family.

  24. Wow! Situations like this are tragic and yet they help us appreciate what we have even more than we already did. To be able to sympathize with strangers and grow closer to our own family is what we need to hold on to. I’m sure her family mourned the loss, celebrated her life and grew closer to each other, thankful for the time we each have to cherish every moment.
    .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..You Are the Reason I Know It Will Happen =-.

  25. Hi Sean

    It is true in western life that we treat death as taboo and yet in some countries death is celebrated. There is one fact you can be sure of and that is this body is going to die one day, and will pass through the point of no return.

    You ask would I give my life up for a stranger?. I would say no. As I am a mum. my whole being is as the protector of my children. That was born in me when I found out I was pregnant. It is an impenetrable force and I would do anything to ensure the survival of my children.

    If I were to give up my life for a stranger, I would leave my children motherless and I would never make that decision because of the love and protection I feel for them. And that is just the way it is. They come first.

    • Hi Elly,

      I really envy those countries that celebrate death as a part of life. They seem able to move on much quicker than some of us in the Western world. It just shows how perception influences everything.

      Your children are very lucky to have you as a mother. 🙂

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