While a legitimate excuse, it took me many many months before I went to a specialist to confirm if there was long term damage being done. In the mean time I would try running from time to time, but always ended up defeated. Once I actually committed to seeing a specialist to confirm whether my fears were well founded, I rapidly got a solution of sorts to my problem.

The Dr told me I wasn’t doing permanent damage, but that I needed to do specific exercises to make the pain go away. So I quickly bought myself a knee strap and decided to tentatively get back into running, and discovered that courtesy of the strap my knee held together well enough so that running ceased to be anywhere near as painful. I’m still working on getting my knee completely better, but am running as much as I want by using the strap and am no longer motivated to avoid running in order to avoid pain. If only I had invested in the $25 knee strap upfront I would have saved many months and hundreds of dollars in physio fees.
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I think that if you’re in a situation that you don’t like and you have been trying to change it and failing; you need to ask yourself what the payoff is for it. There is a reason why we are living with a situation that we profess to hate. We have to be able to be really honest with ourselves.

When we get honest about why we are doing this, it will become easier to change the situation and get a more positive result. The times that I have been guilty of this; I’ve been sabotaging myself because of fear. Once I realized and acknowledged the fear; I could make the changes I needed to move forward.

In recent times I have made some major changes to the way I live my life. In 2003 I decided to change the way I looked at myself and the world. I started making different choices about how I reacted to situations and I am a much happier person for it.