Mastering The Art Of Communication

Mastering The Art Of Communication is not hard but many people don’t make the effort to understand it. Why is this so? Is it because we want to make life harder for ourselves? I doubt it. Personally, I think it is a case of a little education (or too little).

Do people truly understand you when you communicate with them? Do they get upset and misunderstand the meaning you try to get across to them? Do you get caught up in email cross fire; firing back fast responses to someone that got hot under the collar and totally misinterpreted what you meant in your first email to them? Did you actually understand their response before replying back?

World War III has once again erupted via email…

Lack Of Communication Skills

This is common. It is called: Lack of Communication Skills. Why do we expect others to read our minds and know the entire picture – the one that is in your mind – without showing it to them? Just because one person has the picture in their minds eye, doesn’t mean that anyone else sees it. As a matter of fact, you are the only one in the entire world (or Universe) that sees that picture!

The world’s history is riddled with cultural and religious clashes, with millions of senseless loss of life over one thing: Lack Of Communication Skills. You could also call it: Refusal To Appreciate Other People’s Views.

I once read a profound statement by a well known Dog Breeder. He was asked if he wished his famous Border Collie could talk? His response was:

No way! If dogs could talk, the human race would have exterminated them by now. We would have felt threatened by them and like any other species that threatens us, we bring them the the verge of extinction or wipe them out!

Our lack of communication skills, lowers us to sub-human qualities; to those of animals that we do not class at “Intelligent Enough” to match it with the humans.

Mastering The Art Of Communication

The Art Of Communication is a tough one to master and is hardly a topic that is taught very well in our industrial age (outdated) School system. Modern society gets far too busy with everyday life… and less time is spent on attempting to understand other’s viewpoints and opinions. Why do people “fly off the handle” at an email? Has life been so bad to them that an email rage has to be declared on someone that can’t physically reach then at that point in time ( and give them a well deserved smack)? Is their ‘petty’ issue so important that all other issues (the REAL one’s that matter, like world disasters, disease, persecution and starvation) become tiny and obscure?

Let’s have a look at why people misunderstand an email – and even why people don’t totally get your picture over the phone.

The 3 Vital Pieces Of Communication

The Art Of Communication is made up primarily of 3 main areas. Take away one and you have a jumbled message. Combine all 3 and then you have a complete message.

  1. The Written Word – 17%
  2. Tone of Voice – 34%
  3. Body Language – 49%

I am discounting any 6th sense or abilities to “feel” the meaning of communication. For the purpose of this exercise, I will include only the parts that most people are comfortable with. The combination of all 3 (above) do generate a “feel” for the meaning that delivers a FULL Picture of the communicated word.

  1. The Written Word – 17%

    Only 17% of your communication skills are transferred through the written word. This includes letters, emails, newspapers, etc. How well do you really understand what was in that email? What mood was the author in? Angry? Happy? Loving? Depressed? Were the words said in anger or in jest? What was the body language? You may never know…

  2. Tone Of Voice – 34%

    When you hear someone over the phone or on the radio, you have the benefit of both the Written Word and Tone Of Voice, totaling 51% of the full meaning attempted to be transferred from one person to another through the Art Of Communication. But what is the speaker wearing? Is he or she naked? How tall is this person? Have they showered for the past 6 weeks? Are they disabled or an elite sportsperson? Do they “walk the talk” on the topic they are so passionately covering? You may never know!

  3. Body Language – 49%

    Your Body Language accounts for 49% of your communication skills. Being able to see a person talk, normally means you can hear the Tone Of Voice along with the Written Word (as it is spoken). Is the person speaking confident? Does he/she look you in the eyes? Do they look trustworthy? Are they picking their nose? Can you see how a deaf person can get more from a persons Body Language than you ever can from an email? Now, think about that for a moment…

Have You Lost Your Mind – Or Just A Few Senses?

Reading an email is like losing some of your senses. You do NOT have the full picture and don’t have the ability to make a complete evaluation of the TRUE meaning sent to you.

Think about that next time (if) you get hot under the collar when reading an email ;). A bit of understanding starts with knowing more about Mastering The Art Of Communication.

In a future article I will share the story of a famous debate that was simultaneously broadcast on Radio & TV. Candidate “A” won on Radio and Candidate “B” won on TV. How do you think that happened?

Until next time… communicate with me in the comments section πŸ˜‰

Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
Aussie Internet Marketer Β© 2004 – 2010

About Sean Rasmussen

Sean Rasmussen is a passionate blogger and has been a full time internet marketer since 2005. When he's not with his family, or dog Buddy, Sean is usually blogging or doing something related to the internet.

Comments

  1. This is so important, if only more people could understand the significance of effective communication, a lot more could be done and a lot more would be done.

    I do like your reference to your point on body language, haha πŸ˜‰

    BTW great post Sean πŸ™‚

  2. Hi Sean

    This is so true. It is so easy to be misunderstood via email. I know I try to explain exactly what I mean when I am emailing but sometimes I think I get too verbose and that is just as confusing. It can be hard to find that happy median.

    Karen
    .-= Karen Emmerson´s last blog ..Distance Education Training for Professional Advancement =-.

  3. After reading the first paragraph I was going to post on body language and tone but you covered it in the rest of the article, it is like I have seen you speak on this before!! Whenever someone sends me a text message 9/10 times I will ring them back as I’m not interested in communication in a sentence that could be misinterpreted and can go back and forward wearing out the keypad in what we could discuss in 20 seconds.

    By the way for anyway reading this my tone of voice is that of someone who is an athlete and has showered in the last weeks. I’m smiling and interested in learning more more Sean. Phew, Hopefully that gets the message across!
    .-= Chris Bellesini´s last blog ..25 – The Wayward Sports Star =-.

  4. Radek Simcik says:

    in my opinion the message in this block could be put into one sentence: Most of us have this feature on: Refusal To Appreciate Other People’s Views

    I am lately putting more and more of my attention on that. Especially when I heard during one seminar something like: “Don’t judge anybody you don’t know their story”.

    • People who refuse to appreciate other people’s views are bringing their own kwapedudu to the table!

      You gotta stay curious with people regardless of what they say & how they choose to communicate it.
      .-= Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk! =-.

      • Although I’m curious and always have been I’m jealous of the curiousity level of my son and delight in his ability to take it all in, his innocence and his raw brilliance. If we could all go back to that the world would be a much more wonderful place – it’s wonderful now, of course but just try to imagine for a minute if we woke up every morning to a blank slate.
        .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..Attracting Good People and Good Books =-.

  5. Communication is a very challenging skill. Because each of us has different emotions connected with different words I can “hear” something totally different then what was actually “said”. And to only have one channel if it is an email is not making it any easier.

    Funny thing is, whenever I don’t understand something I ask people what they mean or why did they do such and such. So often I get accused of being unfair because I ask them that nasty “why” question. That shows me that not everybody sees asking as a way of learning but as a way of blaming. We have created a strange world of communication πŸ˜‰
    .-= Renee´s last blog ..Motivational Music =-.

    • Not challenging at all! Only if you choose it to be. I love communication and I see it as something fun.

      I recently received a message via Facebook from someone who wanted to correct my punctuation. I couldn’t believe it – my first response was defensive. But I chose the opposite. I used it instead as part of my comedy & then asked that person to be my FB friend. Since found out that she is a teacher so everyone has a story!
      .-= Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk! =-.

      • I loved that you took this woman up on her suggestions. I, for one, cannot stand typo’s in supposedly professional messages and offered a person this same thing. Their reaction, I believe, was defensive as I continue to receive grammatically incorrect messages that I ignore and haven’t received a direct response from the person sending them.

        Never get defensive when someone is trying to help, the world needs more volunteers and people helping you with your cause and success .
        .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..Attracting Good People and Good Books =-.

    • Daniel Millhouse says:

      This is because our society is becoming more self-onvolved with everyday that passes. The ‘why’ question interrupts/slows down the normal flow, which ever that maybe and it draws attention away from the other persons goal heh heh therefore society has to become a loveing, sharing commuinity as a whole before anything can stop…it quite sad really

      • Daniel Millhouse says:

        And please appreciate that it actually was 630AM when I wrote this so the spelling and grammar is terrible πŸ˜€

  6. Radek Simcik says:

    I am always thinking if we can use the pictures with asking somebody for their approval. Like the ones from the movies, G.Bush one.

  7. Most appropriate post, Sean, although I would have to respond to the ‘dog/interpretations’ paragraphs.. I think sometimes.. heh heh.. I think animals are being themselves at all times, and we are not always. And then we get so used to the images we think other people want that we forget who we are..

    Anyway, communication is as you say, how we share ourselves with someone else. When we do our best with that bit, the rest just seems to flow better.

    Thanks for this post. I am glad to know you are one who is in charge of how you feel, and as you share yourself, we all benefit.

    Have a wonderful day.
    .-= Jo Carey-Bradshaw´s last blog ..Empowering Mindset – Mindfulness =-.

    • Radek Simcik says:

      hi Jo,
      this is so lovely but unfortunately true. “I think animals are being themselves at all times, and we are not always. And then we get so used to the images we think other people want that we forget who we are.. ”

      In my opinion it happens because animals are always in tune with Nature and because the don’t think. (this is not a start of a flame war) Or they don’t think human way…

    • Hi Jo, very well said.
      Animals don’t pretend and don’t try to fulfill the expectations of someone else. We humans do. And we still claim to be the “superior” race …..
      .-= Renee´s last blog ..Motivational Music =-.

  8. Mastering the art – and it is a true art – of communication is really hard!! I think it’s something we constantly learn & shape as we move through the path of life.

    I have to admit I have the odd troubles with communicating verbally – especially when I am in groups of people – it takes me a while to warm up & get going, and by that time it’s time to go…

    Isn’t it strange that people are unaware that communication is far more than just written & spoken? UGGHHHHHHH!
    .-= Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk! =-.

  9. Jazz Salinger says:

    Hi Sean,

    This happens to me all the time. I’m like Karen and I use far too many words trying to ensure that my email or text message isn’t taken the wrong way, I just end up annoying people. However, it still happens so I’ve still got a lot to learn.

  10. The dreaded email war.

    Or Digg war.

    The thing about online communication is that you really only have the written word if the 3 mentioned in this post. Emoticons help. So do a reputation, persona and history that help people to understand where you’re coming from.

    TIP: DON’T WRITE LONG PARAGRAPHS IN CAPS BECAUSE PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE YELLING AND IT CAN BE TAKEN AS AGGRESSION. PRETTY BASIC BUT THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL UNAWARE OF THIS. THIS PARAGRAPH ALMOST LOOKS LIKE A WARNING ON A CONSTRUCTION SITE OR A POISON BOTTLE!
    .-= Lina Nguyen´s last blog ..Richard Branson Business School: A day visit =-.

  11. Part of my business is dealing with relationships. At least half of the problems come down to one thing, failure to communicate effectively. But there is more to it than what you have said above. The biggest problem is not listening or hearing what the other person is really saying.
    .-= Wal Heinrich´s last blog ..Internet Marketing Why? How? =-.

    • Failure to listen is a big one, Wal. I think that’s partly about not being fully present when the other person is speaking. It’s the ultimate respect when you can be fully present with them. Difficult for many people to do. I once did this “being present” exercise at sales training. Amazing what came up for people when they did this.
      .-= Lina Nguyen´s last blog ..Richard Branson Business School: A day visit =-.

      • Failure to listen and/or read is the demise of today’s society. Too many people are practicing the skill of multi tasking that they don’t take the moment to realize what they are doing. Think of how many times you’ve got out of the shower wondering if you washed your hair. How many times you drove home without remembering turning the last corner. Some people see this as OCD, many see it as too much on the brain.
        .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..Attracting Good People and Good Books =-.

        • I guess it comes back to being in the present moment. It’s a long time since we “walked when we are walking” and don’t (try) to do 10 million other things at the same time to be “effective”.

          Our Information age can be a little overwhelming and we need to train our filters better without being rude. Can sometimes be hard to balance.
          .-= Renee´s last blog ..Definition Of Motivation =-.

          • I never would have thought that being totally present would be such a challenge. Although, when you totally love what you’re doing, it’s so easy to be present. Similarly, when you’re totally engaged in what someone is saying/writing, being present with them in communication comes naturally.
            .-= Lina Nguyen´s last blog ..Blog comments on steroids =-.

  12. Funny you wrote about this topic today “Mastering The Art Of Communication” – Today at a Nursing Course at Caloundra we were taught how to understand a resident that was not able to speak english, Not able to move their body, and had no way of letting us know what she wanted. It was an interesting role playing, with one of the students speaking her native tongue (German) and another student speaking his native tongue (from another country). There was lots of laughs because neither one knew what they were saying. Its hard when you take one of the senses away, either hands/eyes/mouth or even ears. I imagine that is what reading an email is like….

    You can totally take the person from the wrong angle. Then it so become interesting, to see what a simple sentence that you think is harmless can be taken totally different.

    Speaking face to face adds advantages. Maybe in the furture emails will be only set face to face ?

    Good points thanks Sean
    PS:- I will have to double checking all emails before hitting the send button from now on
    .-= Lisa Wood´s last blog ..Searching For Gratitude Rocks =-.

  13. Body language is very important and I know this is a area that I have to work on myself. if you body language is sending the wrong message then it is all over red rover. so make sure that you put on your best face when presenting. or talking.
    .-= Richard Colum´s last blog ..Tips for First Time Home Buyers =-.

  14. I think poor communication can sometime be caused laziness ….lyke knot chequing wot youve typedf….

    There can also be some miscommunication with Localisms, such as words that have meanings in diferent local areas….. Like that US TV kids show with that Nanny named Fran who fell on her fanny…… as a kid remember thinking, she fell on her what!!

    People from overseas can somethings be hard to understand with their acsents too….. I sometime have trouble understanding people from Ireland or Scotland with their thick acsents, “I canna undastound what the fook they’re saying!”.

    But your right Sean, it is worth thinking about how we communicate, and we need to be clear and good listeners too.
    .-= Cade Arnel´s last blog ..Boost your Success with your Trading Success Profile =-.

  15. That picture at the top reminded me of Homer strangling Bart.

    Would you say The Simpson family is the perfect example of excellent communicators? They haven’t killed each other after 20 years so that’s a positive.

    One thing that urks me is when people bring their own crap & then misinterpret communication. And they just don’t see it!
    .-= Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk! =-.

  16. Great post Sean. I myself tend to struggle with communication as I seem to have a different interpretation of things to everyone else and leave thinking ‘hmm, don’t think they got my drift!’ Or realising afterwards that the other person probably thought I was talking about a totally different thing than what I was intending. So I really liked Renee’s comment when she said she asks the ‘why’ question when she doesn’t understand something someone is saying.
    I actually wish people would ask me the why question sometimes, especially if I am not getting my intended point across, or else I wish I had the gumption to ask that ‘why’ question when I don’t understand where someone is coming from.

    Guess most of us could do with a little ‘brush up’ on some of our communication skills.
    Hope I’m not the only one out there who sometimes thinks ‘huh?’
    Cheers
    Bron
    .-= Bronwyn´s last blog ..Mural Art =-.

  17. In this day and age it is getting worse. Just look at text language. Often I call on my daughter to decipher it, even though I keep impressing on her to talk normally when texting. Where has the english language got to.
    .-= Gee´s last blog ..Why You Should Just Ignore Fad Diets (Part 2) =-.

  18. Bush was the best! His art of communication will never be beat ever again… his style will live on. He had it all in a very nice little package – his cocky tone of voice, weird-ass body language and his fourth grade ability to read speeches someone else wrote for him… and drew stick figures to explain the big words.

    Ahh, he brought a tear to my eye! I heard he was writing a book… what happened to that?
    .-= Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk! =-.

  19. Written communication is the one I struggle with the most, it can often be hard to express emotion, feeling or point of view via the keyboard. Emoticons etc do make it a little easier, but you still often wonder if the reader really gets what you are saying sometimes.
    .-= Scotty Smith´s last blog ..Investing – Bearish Economy And A Bullish Market =-.

    • If you’re writing someone you know they should be able to understand what you’re saying but I understand what you’re saying when it comes to cold emails (first contact). A lot of trouble is, too, that all the the email may not be read, just barely skimmed. You can write page after page explaining yourself but if it’s not read there’s nothing you can write that’ll be understood.
      .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..I Am Attracting You and Your Vote Via Law Of Attraction =-.

  20. Communication! Sean this is well written, yes so many people struggle with this. I have rarely struggled with this. I do like face to face communication, try and have eye contact this is powerful!
    .-= Sandra Sentance´s last blog ..Time Management =-.

  21. We have well and truly entered the Information age, and to survive or prosper now, you will need to at least, know the basics of the Internet.
    When you are as mature in age as I am , you can speak from experience. They did not have TV, when I was a kid , and I have now had to learn to Communicate in this the computer and communication age.

    So I have been lucky enough to stay open-minded all my life ,and am quite willing to accept change. Therefore I feel I have mastered all the avenues of Communication to date. Just as the author has stated above, Mastering The Art Of Communication is not hard yet so many people do not make the effort to understand it or attempt to learn.
    A great post, about such a basic subject !!……………………………………….

    Allen Sentance Fisherman
    .-= Allen Sentance Fisherman´s last blog ..Open Minds Create Wealth Introduction =-.

  22. I agree with all of the above and have a prime example that just happened yesterday. I congratulated someone via Facebook for something I read on someone else’s status. In response, I practically got my head bitten off by both people (the one I congratulated and the one I read the status of). For no reason both parties began responding to me in such a negative way that I decided to go back and delete my comments.

    Lo and behold, when I went back to delete the initial comment that started this all I realized it could have been interpreted in a completely different way then intended. I certainly learned my lesson and may have taught a few with this whole ordeal πŸ™‚
    .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..I Am Attracting You and Your Vote Via Law Of Attraction =-.

    • Hi Sarah

      Social media is the ultimate social experiment in communication. You have little more than the written word to communicate, and it’s fascinating to see the “wars” that can happen. Especially when you can have people from all over the world discussing the matter, all with different experiences, language references, cultures and views of the world. Thank goodness the UN don’t have their major meetings in chat rooms!
      .-= Lina Nguyen´s last blog ..How to make comments online and build your online persona =-.

      • All over the world? The example is proven daily with my own family. It seems there’s nothing I could comment on through facebook that doesn’t spark some sort of war that continues for days and into face to face communication. It’s frustrating to no end to have in laws misinterpret something such as a congratulatory comment and immediately become defensive instead of contributing to an intelligent conversation.
        .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..Attracting Good People and Good Books =-.

        • Hi Sarah – In those cases, I believe it’s not just the communication, but the way people choose to interpret other people’s communication. People bring with them their own baggage, experiences, fears that affect how they receive communication. Social media has helped me to learn a lot about myself in that regard.
          .-= Lina Nguyen´s last blog ..Blog comments on steroids =-.

          • This is true and if someone is in a bad state of mind they may read something innocent as so much more. There’s a thin line, I’m discovering, between trying to be kind, real, honest and wanting to be accepted. Someday people should realize it’s most important to be accepted as yourself than accepted as someone you hate.
            .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..My Book Review of The Pact by Jodi Picoult =-.

  23. Hi Sean.

    Agree that you need to read emails with a touch of salt. And SMS’s even more so. Some people simply communicate with quick facts via email – without a hello or providing further details. In most cases they’re not being rude – it’s just how they use the medium.

    We generally get upset with people for not following our rules. What we need to understand is that other people live life with their rules. There are bound to be discrepancies with the two.
    .-= David Moloney´s last blog ..What is a Brand Name? It’s Everything. =-.

  24. With the creation and popularity of sites like Twitter and Facebook, they have also change the way we communicate online.

    With Twitter you only have 140 characters so you have to be short and sweet to get the message across. So many tweeters tend to use abbreviations to get more out of their 140 characters, which can cause miscommunication if the reader doesn’t recognise the abbreviations.

    Facebook however you don’t have the same character restriction, and you can also include a picture or video with your message, which can add an extra dimension to your message.
    So it will be interesting where the internet takes communication in the future.
    .-= Cade´s last blog ..Boost your Success with your Trading Success Profile =-.

  25. With text talk now moving from mobiles to speech amongst certain generations, the repercussions will interesting in the future. Question Time in Parliament in a few years time will be very amusing, if not confusing for us older generations:) LOL
    .-= Colin´s last blog ..People Who Discourage Us =-.

  26. Mastering the art of communication certainly is important. It prevents misunderstanding and a whole lot of troublesome situations that would follow. I agree that CAPS LOCK often gets interpreted as an upset writer, and emoticons surely help. But it still doesn’t beat body language and several nonverbal gestures that always help in conversations.

  27. One day I am going to press enter too quickly before I have checked all of my spelling. It is amazing what a difference the mis-placing of a couple of letters makes. Often totally changes the entire meaning of the communication. Would be fun to do once though…..so long as no one takes offense that is. Cheers

  28. Excellent topic Sean! Half the time, the issue with communication lies with the problem of some people not listening or reading properly what has been said or written. Thus, misunderstandings can happen. Listening is one skill that many people don’t have and need to develop. Someone once told me “We are all born with 2 ears and 1 mouth, so guess what we should be doing more of?”

    • This is so right Kelvin, people can get so in the mood of the I am situation, that they loose focus of the real time. As we know this is the most important place to be.
      .-= Richard Colum´s last blog ..Tips for First Time Home Buyers =-.

    • Good call, Kelvin. I’ve heard that from somewhere too. Being called a Big Mouth is supposed to be insulting… Next time, I won’t get too upset if someone says I’ve big ears πŸ™‚
      .-= Lina Nguyen´s last blog ..Richard Branson Business School: A day visit =-.

    • yah, my Grandma used to say that was “so we could listen twice as much as we speak”.
      .-= Terry Tiessen´s last blog ..Ad Unit Magic =-.

    • Like that last line 2 ears and 1 mouth!
      In this ear of sound bites, and the ever decreasing attention span that has resulted, people have forgotten to listen.

      In a way even Twitter has grown out of this – people can’t (won’t?) spend the time to read (listen) and it’s brevity is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wonder how many of the 75 million Twitters really listen or just tweet – speak – for the sake of it. Brittany Spears?

      Of course, it’s more complicated than that – we also get too much on the internet to read and listen to.

      Except for us (natch), I wonder what it would do to real communication if the net closed down for a few weeks?

      Or, if before people were allowed on it – they had to prove their integrity and that they had something valuable to offer or contribute?

  29. Yes, sure right. To learn how to communicate effectively is really very important.
    A lot of people were getting into trouble because of miscommunication or misunderstanding.

  30. I suppose that’s why someone invented emoticons so we can sort of express our body language through our communication via emails.

  31. This topic reminds me of a cartoon in one of Bill Gate’s books, of a dog sitting in front of a computer and saying “No one knows I’m a dog when I’m online”. This ability to recreate ourselves online or the natural posturing that goes along with Internet marketing is harder to decipher without the tone of voice or body language to set of our BS detectors. This is why transparency is so attractive to others when forming our online presence.
    .-= Terry Tiessen´s last blog ..Ad Unit Magic =-.

    • The use of transparency is too often used for evil instead of good. As a teenager I often used the online anonymity to aide and guide people into making the right decisions by “reading/ listening” and letting them know all the options they had.

      With this being written, you can only mask so much of yourself before your trueness seeps through. I discovered my self through practicing different persona’s and finally realizing they all had an underlying sameness – me!
      .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..Attracting Good People and Good Books =-.

      • It is funny that Sarah you can never be someone different, you will always be you. So with that said you can only make sure you give everything you can to what you believe in, because we are only here for a short time. I like what you said< thanks.
        .-= Richard Colum´s last blog ..Property: An Excellent Financial Investment =-.

        • I am forced to disagree. I was someone else entirely in high school. I took stupid ricks, wore plenty of masks, secluded myself although I’m social just so that I would pretend to fit in or pretend I didn’t care to. I think high school in a public school allows a person to try on many different shoes and masks, to be someone else for the sake of surviving while the true meaning of who you are takes a more subtle approach or no approach at all.
          .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..You Are the Reason I Know It Will Happen =-.

          • I do agree with what you say but you as a person today are who you are.

            What you write is the real you, the schooling system may have caused some pier pressure when you were there, but today what you write is what is coming from within, it is you know musks or different shoes. Well done and keep it coming.
            Unfortunately school is not a favorite subject of mine, so i wont go there.
            .-= Richard Colum´s last blog ..Property: An Excellent Financial Investment =-.

          • Who I am today is absolutely who I am and who I want to be. I have just recently figured out that I’m not my past, my parents mistakes or choices, the wimp the bullies in school made me out to be. I am who I am because I like me and I know where I want to go despite the arguments I still hear from those who are still confused.
            .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..You Are the Reason I Know It Will Happen =-.

  32. Well done I knew there was a reason for getting out of bed early this morning keep it going any how Sarah good luck.
    .-= Richard Colum´s last blog ..Property: An Excellent Financial Investment =-.

  33. One of the easiest ways to communicate with someone and build up trust is to mimic their style – for instance, a simple thing to do is to reply to their e-mail with the same greating and salutations that they use. They may not register that you did that but subconsciously it will help them to trust you.
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..Baby Sign for Puppy – A Dad’s Story =-.

    • Exactly. This also helps to put you in the same mindset as they are in. Outside of email if someone says “hey, how are ya?” it doesn’t make sense to reply “Hello, how are you today?”

      Even in the professional industry that I am in we are given the freedom and told to match the tone of the person corresponding with us. I am currently in the “instant gratification” department meaning the client’s answers are replied to right away through an instant messaging system. If they use smiley faces and abbreviations it has been proven it’s best for us to do the same.
      .-= Sarah Butland´s last blog ..You Are the Reason I Know It Will Happen =-.

  34. Hi Sean

    Having worked in counselling for many years, I had to learn about communication from a different angle but what I did learn is very valuable in any situation.

    Communication is a 2 way thing, thre is always a communicator and a receiver. You can be good at getting in rapport with a person, you could be the most articulate person in the world, you could be kind, compassionate and funny, but can you really listen?

    Listening is not hearing, most of us can hear but not all of us listen. Here is a little experiment I did. For 7 days, when people are talking to you, don’t talk back unless you are acknowledging what is being said (hmm, oh, yes, ahh), don’t give advice and don’t interupt at all while they are talking, and allow yourself to listen with your whole body. You will be amazed at how deeply you will connect with that other person and they appreciate being listened to. .

  35. Communication is as much about listening and hearing what people say – including the visitors to our sites. What you say – they aren’t actually speaking to us by just clicking onto our sites?

    In a way they are – their visit does communicate something – that they are looking for Information – their action is communication.

    What we have then in our content – does it communicate well what we are about and can do for them? If they stay – perhaps our message is heard?l

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