Yesterday afternoon, a lady was killed 400 meters from my home.
I arrived home after picking up my sons from School. Her car was in the neighbors frontyard, all mangled up. The old Redgum and Jarrah trees in the footpath had mere scratches on them from her car as it had bounced off them. The SES unit was there with a firetruck and the Police. Yesterday, yet another soul was lost on the road.
I didn’t know her, but to me she was:
- Someone’s Mother
- Someone’s Sister
- Someone’s Daughter
Somewhere, hearts would be broken when the news reached them. Sadly, I might have known the bad news before her loved ones…
The Point Of No Return
Last night, I sat on the trampoline in my backyard, looking up at the stars. A full moon lit up the night and it was like every star in the sky had come out to play. My wife was still in Bunbury and would be arriving home any time. Every headlight from a car that went past on the highway could be her. The SES emergency unit was still working away with the wreckage of the mangled car. I could hear their two-way radio crackling away in the night as I helplessly watched them do their thing from a distance.
The thought came to me: What would I do to help this lady and her family get her back? What would I be prepared to do – to sacrifice – to bring her back from The Point Of No Return?
Don’t Go There, Sean
It’s a very tough question. Many emotions come out when confronted with a question like this and most people cannot cope with that question. They are just not prepared to go there… I don’t blame them. I think I could be one of them. It’s a bloody tough question to ask yourself. Would you give away your family home to get a strangers life back? Would you halve your income for 3 months? What would you be prepared to do? I know what her family would have done: Just about anything!
Just to get this lady back from The Point Of No Return…
The Life Lesson
I explained the situation to my sons. I want them to learn from life without the cotton wool. A lady had lost her life close by and I wouldn’t let this go to waste. If at least I could teach my sons a life lesson from this. Their attention was with me as I explained the emotions of losing a loved one – how this lady was only a few years older than me – and that she may have been someone’s Mother, Daughter, Sister or Wife. My sons are sensible kids and care a lot for other people’s feelings. As my son played “Song For Guy” by Elton John on the piano shortly after, I thought that this one was for her. Then he played “Doves Of Peace” and I dedicated the song to her in my mind.
My thoughts are with this lady and her family. Know that, even though she was a total stranger to me, I do care.
Life is fragile. It can be taken away in a snap moment. Take nothing for granted. Love every moment and be grateful. And when grief strikes other people, appreciate the pain they go through. Life does go on, but let’s not get to immune to other people’s grief when they reach the point of no return.
Let me share this final thought with you:
“One day you will see your life flash before your eyes. Make sure it is a life worthwhile watching”
Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
Aussie Internet Marketer © 2004 – 2009
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
Your comments are so true and yet we all take so much for granted. Our lives and those of the ones we love. We need comments like yours to remember and to take a reality check.
touching, and may help with the urgency that so many people (like myself) need to achieve do experience what is important to them.
Hello Sean
Life gives us some very hard lessons at times. Your thoughts and subsequent actions show you are a very caring person. To pass this caring onto your family and for them to respond is as much as one could hope for.
My thoughts and well wishes are also with the family of all concerned including yours.
White light and peace to all.
Marney
Oh so true and yes we do take so much for granted. Having been around that point of no return myself recently with the senseless loss of two young lives in totally unrelated circumstances I have felt this very same sadness for those left behind. Coming across an accident is the worst feeling. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
A young man wrapped his car around a tree about the same distance away from my house. I drove past the scene and was horified at the site.. car twisted like a pretsil and the blue sheet over the drivers area… The accident (speeding) was along my running path. Every time I run past that site I’m reminded that that was someones Son, Grandson, Brother – and hell, maybe father.
It hits you in a place you don’t venture often, something that you rather not think about because it’s just to darn hard and painful to think about.
I applaud you for teaching your sons the life lesson. We have far to many kids who don’t respect anything simply because they were not tough to respect them. A part of life is death.. My comment is now becoming a tad macabre so I’m going to go and do some work now
I know this all too well. I have wasted far too much time already. I haven’t even been thinking of other’s besides myself. But, in the past 2 1/2yrs now. I have been recovery from addiction of drugs & alcohol. I am not trying my best to help other’s that a still in the addiction trap. It far too hard for some to get out of. I barley made it out of that lifestyle myself. I pray everyday that I never return. I work on making sure that I don’t ever return to that life. I have been helped with blessing from God. Without his help, I doubt if I would be here writing this now. I have been blessed by him so much. I feel the need to make sure I help others just like my former self. Thanks for the wakeup call and your right we need to make sure we spend our whole life doing something worth while. Not to take it for granted and live and learn more.
Thank you Sean
Your post was a moving one , and as I began to read it , I felt I was along side you on that trampoline questioning why on a lot of similar circumstances in my life !
None of us are amuned to The Point Of No Return and we will all meet our maker one day, we also will experience what that ladies family and friends did when they were given the news of her death. So Sean I am proud of how you seized the moment not in disrespect of this lady, yet to explain some cold hard facts of life to your sons ,which quite honestly some people refuse to accept.
Allen Sentance
Fisherman
Allen Sentance Fisherman´s last blog ..Bush Walking Around Adelaide River Village
The point of no return is a very apt phrase you have chosen Sean. Having experienced the unexpected and shocking loss of someone who meant the world to me has left a wound that has really only healed on the surface. Reading your post brings it all back to the surface as I miss him dearly and life will never be the same, but I am a much better person for having known him and he lives on in my heart. My heartfelt sympathy goes out for this lady’s family and friends.
One’s life really is only the blink of an eyelid so remember to always make the best of it and leave behind a legacy that will always warm somebody’s heart.
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That is an incredibly sad story Sean. At a time like this there are so many questions asked and never any answers given. The void that the loss of that ladies life will leave in her loved ones hearts will never be filled and a day in their lives will never pass without them thinking of her. The loss of lives on our roads is a tragic reminder to us all that life is so fragile and can be lost in a heartbeat and no matter how much care we take, it can still happen to any of us. What would we do to give back that ladies life to her family – anything. What can we do – nothing but support them in their grief and remember that their loss is eternal. Sitting alone at night and watching the stars and the heavens, when you seem to be able to see for ever and feel the tranquility of the universe, has a therapeutic effect of bringing an inexplicable peace to our being – for every grieving soul let the tears flow and feel the peace – it is the beginning of a slow healing process.
Yes it is so sad
My heart goes out to all who have lost loved ones and this year there has been enough your words had me reflecting on those around me who have lost mothers, a daughters, a sister, a son, and a father
So often there is not a thing anyone else can do about the final outcome it is in Gods hands
All we can do is be there for support
Moving and thought-provoking. Sean.
I do believe that we all-too often forget (and many all-too often fail to believe) that we are all cousins, going way back through billions of years to a single common ancestor.
All life on Earth is precious, but we humans have mostly failed in fostering the love that’s needed amongst each other to make this world a better place.
And to the one person who had to mention God here…get over it! Life is in the here and now…don’t go waiting for the “raptures of paradise”, or you might miss out on living the only life you get.
Faith is for the credulous…and blasphemy is a victimless crime.
Please check out the musings of the great Carl Sagan, shortly before his death in 1996.
http://sciencereligionnews.blogspot.com/2007/12/carl-sagan-on-life-death-and-religion.html
Thanks for your thoughts Sean,
Mortality becomes more present in mind when happens right on your back doorstep. It reminds us that it can all be taken away in an instant and to do the very best we can with today. I’m sure everyone has been touched by tragic circumstances in some way, which allows us to have compassion for others. My heart goes out to that lady’s family and friends.
You have strength in your parenting to take this tragedy and turn that into a lesson for your boys while supporting them through the process. Too often we are told to protect our children from the harshness of life, but I believe that if children are made aware of the of these things in a loving and supportive environment they develop and grow into well balanced and compassionate adults.
Again, thanks for your thoughts
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Hi all,
I’m a firie & we deal with these emotions on a regular basis. If there is one thing I have seen all too often it is drink driving & the aftermath. Without preaching too hard please think before driving after too many ales….life is fragile. Be well…Scotty
We hear tragic stories almost every day on the TV and radio news. It’s very easy to just switch the off button and not think about it. Your account of what happened so close to your home reminds us that we all need to have compassion and kind thoughts for the family and friends of those that have died, tragically or otherwise, whether it be close to home, in the next street or suburb, or another state or country. Thanks for sharing.
G’day Sean,
Your story really touched me deeply. It’s difficult to express myself under these sad circumstances, especially following the previous excellent writers, but the most outstanding points are your thought about the lady being someone’s mother / sister / daughter, and the other is how you explained to the boys about what had happened.
In conclusion, I’m very happy and grateful to be part of your organisation and the honesty and integrity it teaches.
Kindest Regards
Harry
Thanks Harry
I feel that these moments of “truth” make me stronger by making me more grateful for what I have. I even start to appreciate the bad things (the lessons) that happen to me.
Sean, that was a beautiful written article that respected that women and also conveyed the fragility of life so elequantly.
I think that thinking of the point of no return is a place that many don’t really ever want to think about as it does leave you so vulnerable and open. It also reminds you how unjust life can feel at times.
I have to thank you for writing this piece and for ending it with “One day you will see your life flash before your eyes. Make sure it is a life worthwhile watching”. This has really hit home to me and my intention is most definitely to have lived a life worthwhile of watching.
My deepest condolences to all affected by this tragedy.
Thank you, Vicky.
That is one of my favourite sayings.
Thanks for your thoughts Sean. Really makes you think about whats important doesn’t it.
Aaron Schubert´s last blog ..Kalbarri
Thanks for sharing Sean. I lost my Dad when I was only 17 – since then I think I have been jamming so much into my life because you just don’t know when your time is up. I am glad you shared that with your kids, many would want to sheild them from lifes realities. I hope her family are celebrating her life, I am sure she is missed dearly.
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Hi Sean
Some interesting questions came up for you when this woman left the earth. It’s wonderful that you took the opportunity to learn the life lesson from her passing – to teach something special to your sons, to share this with the world on your blog and to just think. I’m stating the obvious when I say we’re not here forever, but I think that’s what’s half the beauty of human life. It has to end some day to make room for more growth. I have grown because this woman has moved on from this life. Thank you. Rest her soul.
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gosh that is a hard lession to teach, but one that is needed. That’s a deep question “What would you do to bring her back from the point of No Return” Sometimes there is nothing that you can do because it was her time to go. I so wish that was not the case….we lived at D’aguilar until recently for over 7 years and we heard sirens going nearly every weekend. Usually it was for bike riders or young inexperienced riders. Over those 7 years there was cross after cross added to the road. WHEN will people realise that they are not going to bounce? They are going to get hurt, or worse if they speed, if they do the wrong thing on the road, or if they are too young to handle the roads condition.
PLEASE slow down on the roads. With five boys I keep letting them know that they need to be aware of the road, and show them crosses so they can see that the person was real….May the lady be resting in peace for evermore, and that her family heal with time.
Lisa Wood´s last blog ..Its Meant To Be
Hi Sean,
This post was a very beautifully written piece. We do need to cherish each moment because we never know which one will be our last. I think it’s important to ensure that your family and those closest to you know how much they mean to you. Never leave anything unsaid because you might just miss the chance to say it.
Sean, I think you did a great thing in explaining the situation to your boys. Too often children are not talked to about what is going on and instead work it out from bits and pieces of whispered conversations and what they do get is usually wrong. I think hearing about loss of life is best coming from someone they love and trust.
It was a day of many different emotions; an important one for all of us.