In my own life, I have had plenty of advice. Much of it has been good. It wasn’t however until I made a conscious effort to be 100% in charge of my own decisons that I experienced The Feeling of Success. My results are the reward of my own efforts and I have no one to blame for anything. No excuses! It’s a good place to be. I’m still grateful, I give credit where it is due and thank plenty of people for their efforts in helping me. I’m still 100% responsible for my own results.
Choose Your Own Dreams
If you stopped for a moment to consider the things you want in your life, you might be surprised at how long the list is. Whether they are things that will improve your lifestyle or that will simply provide you with pleasure, we all want a lot. Some of it, we may never have, but much of it we will if we work hard and focus on those items as goals. Before you start reaching for certain things in your life, take a moment to consider if the things you want are things you actually want.
Too often, we want things…
Because Others Want You to Have It
Our parents and friends mean well, but a lot of the time, they have ideas for our lives that may not be congruent with who we actually are and what we actually want. But if they tell us a number of times that we ‘need’ something or that we actually DO want something, we begin to put those things on our list of necessary achievements. For example, perhaps you don’t want a house and you’re content to live in an apartment. Just because others want you to have a house, and there is plenty of motivation for you to have that house, doesn’t mean that you really want it. Your interpretation of success if probably totally different to that of your family and friends.
Because You Want to Be Like…
Keeping up with the Joneses is something we struggle with on a daily basis. By taking the time to evaluate whether a certain item is something that we actually want for ourselves, we can begin to stop playing catch up and start bringing into our lives the things that really bring us joy. You want your own, truly unique, empowered identity, not the identity of someone else. Someone else will always have something that you want, but that doesn’t mean that you will actually enjoy having it in your life.
Chase The Lifestyle – Not The Achievement
Know what you want. Forget what others want you to have. It’s your life and as long as you stay ethical, your dreams and goals will be yours to enjoy. Stay focused and keep your mind on the end result. Your lifestyle will be much better if you’re doing the things you ‘really’ want to do. Opportunity knocks on everyones door.
Chase your own dreams… Success awaits us all. Accept it when it knocks on your door!
Sean Rasmussen
Success Communicator
SeanRasmussen.com © 2004 – 2007
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree it important to look at one’s own desires and analyse not only what we want, but why we want it. As you point out, it can be easy to get loaded up with ‘transferred wants’ that either people close to us or society indicate are right, good, desirable, or ‘the way things are done’.
It is all well and good to chase these things if you really want them, but if it is more a case of going with the flow, then it is worth questioning why – why do we want the things we chase, and why bother chasing these things to begin with?
I’ve never been one who has bought into the ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ mentality. Frankly, life is too short to worry about some sort of status based race to accumulate impressive things. I’d rather just get the things I really want, do the things I really want to do and simply enjoy myself. Much better than accumulating stuff I don’t really need, to impress people I don’t really like.
The status race can be particularly insidious when large amounts of debt are accumulated. I’d rather own my things and have the lifestyle to enjoy them, rather than having my house/car/TV owning me.
Tom McEwin´s last blog ..Getting Targeted Internet Traffic and a Hungry Crowd
Hello,
We all want a rich and full lifestyle with things that provide us with comfort and freedom . Some may never have this, but we will have it if we work hard and focus on our goals and believe, we can have anything we truly desire.
Why do we not learn at school to make our dreams reality? Or the first step – to find out what we really want? That would make life so much easier and more fun for everybody. But instead we get told to “learn hard, have good grades and find a secure job” (at least most of us), no matter what our dreams might have been.
I think it should be part of the curriculum to learn about finding your passion, goals, goal setting and how to achieve them. As Yang said, “Goals are Dreams with deadlines”
Renee´s last blog ..Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind by T Harv Eker – Book review
You know if enough people really want change in our schools and you focus on it, see it, feel it, want it, you can make it happen there is someone who CAN make it happen.
IS IT YOUR GOAL ???
Oh yeah, oh my lordy you are sooo on the money on that one! I could not tell you how many times I was told to stop daydreaming – and concentrate on the maths (I was sucky at it – still am). I was far more happier using my imagination.
If the school system focussed on what kids naturally gravitated towards to grow their natural born talents then we would have a far different world! And so many happy kids that grow to be happy & fulfilled adults that know where they are going. By the time we all realise what we like – and some take longer than others, it can be too late.
Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk!
“Be careful what you wish for” was the advice I remember my old grandfather say to me. I quizzed him on what he meant and he started talking about consequenses of your choices. I hadn’t really thought about it until then. Now that I’ve got a few more years under the belt I can totally beleive the truth in what he advised.
It’s amazing when I look back that my life has taken some pretty significant changes and these came from what at the time seemed pretty small decisions.
And yes I agree with Sean to stop basing your decision on what others want for you. I also did that in my younger days when my self-esteem was at a very low level. I was so concerned with pleasing other people that I made some terribly bad decisions that still haunt me today.
Hi Ray
I can relate to what you are saying, I too basing my decision on what others want for me or thought I should do and then had NO self-esteem.
Now I base my decisions on what I want and how I want things to be in the future and now I am growing each day
Agree with this most of all “Know what you want. Forget what others want you to have. It’s your life and as long as you stay ethical, your dreams and goals will be yours to enjoy.”
I have for a longtime listened to others and have followed the path to achieve what society see as an achievement or “making it”. I am now following my own path to fulfill my own dreams and achievements and its been an amazing journey ever since.
Cemil´s last blog ..Online Business Blackbook Releases First Affiliate Marketing ebook
Cemil, it’s great that you are following the beat of your own drum. Sounds like you are really happy. I am cheering for you – standing ovation that you just can’t see… but imagine it.
Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk!
I thought I wanted to relax by the beach and meditate, swim etc. for the rest of my life. But after 3 months of almost continually doing this I got extremely bored and I had to find something to do.
Wal Heinrich´s last blog ..Internet Marketing Why? How?
Have to agree with you Wal – The idea of not working and just doing nothing is appealing until you try it. I took a year and a half off work and experienced the same as you after a few months. I still want to give up work (as in working for someone) in the not too distant future, but I can see myself spending my “free” time doing useful stuff I have a passion for.
Colin´s last blog ..People Who Discourage Us
I agree with both Colin & Wal… I can’t even sit on a train & do nothing. My mind is a goin’ almost 24 hours a day. So many things that most people think are mundane are translated into something hilarious in my cwazy mind!
So there is NO way I could sit on a beach & do nothing – it’s impossible!
Everyone has something that they love to do – and they can get paid for it!
Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk!
Hi Sean,
I think we have to know what it is that really makes us happy. It might not be what we think it is. I think we just have to look in our hearts and be true to ourselves.
Friends and family can place a lot of expectations on us and it can be hard not to bow to the pressure. But, I think deep down they would rather that we be happy first than do what they think is right for us.
I want whatever my partner tells me I want.
I remember the phrase “be careful of what you wish for” in my youth. And because of that I don’t wish. I look at what it is that will make me content. Easy really
Gee´s last blog ..Why You Should Just Ignore Fad Diets (Part 2)
Wanting to be like Tina Fey WAS a thought I used to have. Focus on exactly what I want so I can be concise in creating what I want in my life is so more important – who knows exactly what Tina’s life is like & I am unique, so my goals should be specific to me.
‘Careful what you wish for’ is something that I consciously remember everyday to ensure my thoughts are positive – my past is littered with negative crap that I have “asked” for.
I often think about Olympic swimmers – specifically Ian Thorpe (although he doesn’t swim anymore) and when he jumped in the pool he never thought about the other swimmers in the other lanes – he swam his “own race”. Although everyone in the pool is swimming the same race (ie: life) Ian had his own goals to achieve. Besides Ian had his own strengths (& weaknesses I’m sure) that he could use to his advantage – huge feet, long body, big hands.
I love swimming, don’t do it as often these days (finding good pair of swimmers to wear is hard) – but when I am in the pool I did just that – focussed on my own race with MYSELF – every breathe, each stroke, each kick… and before I know it I have done 30 laps. It’s wonderful!
Samantha Banfield´s last blog ..Sean Rasmussen and his crazy talk!
Sean,
I have written my Dreams and goals down, after reading this post you have given me new direction
Sandra Sentance´s last blog ..Time Management
Yes, it surely can take some time to discard the (mostly well-meant) advice/programming of our past. Taking responsibility for ourselves is a good thing, and to do that we get to learn about ourselves more and more. Life is pretty amazing.
Jo Carey-Bradshaw´s last blog ..Empowering Mindset – Mindfulness
Hello Sean,
“Do You Really Want What You Want” – Yes I do. I have a goal, a dream, a passion and I want what I want. I have not been one of those people that like to keep up with the “Jones”, as I know within if something is right for me.
I am chasing my dreams this year and I can feel that everything I ask for is coming my way. My life is maped out and I will have the front door wide open when the knock comes
Cheers
Lisa
Lisa Wood´s last blog ..Searching For Gratitude Rocks
Hi Sean,
I sometimes have to decide what is is that I really want. I can be in a state of either thinking that I want so much, that I can’t decide what is most important to concentrate on, OR I can slip back into procrastination and not chase any goal and. just watch TV for a while.
I do need to focus, but it’s getting better. my blog is: http:1stclasslifestyle.com
I do know what I want at 62 I want finally not to HAVE TO work I have been in the work force since I was 14. Now I am working towards my freedom
Rita
As a stubborn person, I totally reject doing what other people say I should do, most of the time. Been like that all my life, and I’m sure it came from equally stubborn Mum, and then the music industry. The ” Joneses ” have my permission to have anyone but me keep up with them – I don’t want to.
A recent exception was when Yang, on his PC optimization webinar, suggested the purchase of a backup hard drive – would you believe it Ebay had a 500 GB Seagate brand external HD the next day for $ 107 AUD with free postage. I checked out the specs with him [ Thankyou Yang ] got approval and it’s in the mail all in a day.
Harry Lynn´s last blog ..How Proud Can One Be ?
G’day Sean,
As I go through these posts, particularly the earlier ones, I’m SHOCKED at the low number of them which have been submitted to DIGG / Facebook / Twitter. even there are buttons to click on the articles and there are lots of comments.
COME ON COMMENTORS, submit the articles as you go through!
CHeers
Harry
G’day Harry,
Thanks for the reminder on submitting the article to the social bookmarking sites. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we’re doing for ourselves that we forget to notice the obvious additional steps we could be taking to help others. This article submitted to Digg.
Don White´s last blog ..Psycho-
Well, that’s a timely reminder – so I just went and clicked them – thanks. It’s not as if it’s time consuming either!
Hey Sean,
I think a lot of people think that just because they want something that they have to stick with that ‘want’, or that once they have acheived it, that they have to ‘live with it’. Not only should you be aware of what it is that you want, but also be aware that what you want now isn’t going to be the same as what you want in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years time.
If you get half way along the path of your ‘want’ there is always the chance that the experience you pick up along the way may give you greater clarity, which will necessitate the need for a change in direction and have you heading for a different ‘want’.
While it can be counter-productive to keep on changing your mind and direction, people should still maintain flexibility, and be prepared to let go of some of their ‘wants’ when they no longer serve them in a productive manner.
Cheers,
Pete
Pete´s last blog ..peteboyr: @bullhunter Thanks, Sean. Just reviewing the webinar, and will get to your blogs after that. Big night ahead, pizza on the way!
Hi Pete,
You make an excellent point. We really need to be flexible in our approach because you’re right. As we grow and change, what was appropriate for us at 20 years old probably isn’t at 30.
We shouldn’t be afraid to change our minds and let go of wants that don’t meet our needs. It’s really important to listen to what your heart tells you and change course when it’s appropriate.
Jazz Salinger´s last blog ..Finding Your Passion
That is so true Pete. Flexibility is the key – and us older ones (sic) shouldn’t just get stuck in our ways.
That’s one good thing about the internet and working online etc with guys like Sean – it not only puts new things before us, it keeps us up to date and just makes ongoing change natural.
I must admit that as I’ve gotten older the list of things that I want out of life has gotten considerably shorter. Material things don’t seem to matter as much anymore although I do like to buy the occasional “big boy’s toy”, (i.e. the new Fender Telecaster). But I find myself wanting to enjoy the important things that I already have: a lovely wife; a great son, daughter-in-law and grandson; my photography; my music and being able to play in Grateful We’re Not Dead; my friend, both close by and on-line; my computers, etc.
However, all that being said, I guess I won’t turn down any income that will facilitate my enjoyment as well as my ability to help others.
Don White´s last blog ..You Cant Throw That Out-
I agree Don. The things I thought were important in my twenties and were “must haves” just don’t seem so important now. And, it’s not an issue of whether I can afford it or not – there just seems to be different priorities as one ages.
Helping others is one goal I have for wanting online success and that will mean more han material things by a long shot.
Thank God I have reached a stage in life that I don’t want success so that I can have what others have or so I can keep up with the Jones. My choice is now to be satisfied with what I have and to pursue my own goals for a lifestyle that is postive and purposeful and of benefit to others, not just me.
Knowing what your really want in life is a hurdle most of us have to jump over. We are programmed in life by not only our parents but by society, banks and government that we should finish school, get a JOB (a nice stable good job), buy a house and be imprisoned by a mortgage to keep us right where they want us for the next 30 years of our life. Then if we are lucky we will retire at 65 and sit out the rest of our days. As more people realise that theres more to life, I think society and its expectations will change. As a child my parents broke the norm by buying a 22 ft caravan and packing up their possessions and 5 kids and traveled the next 10 years of my life. Because of this I think I have a head start in being able to look at things a little differently and breaking the mould of “normality”.
Jackie Stenhouse´s last blog ..What to Look For in a Child With Anxiety
Hi Sean
Most of what I have wanted in my life I have received.
I want great health every day and it is the first thing on my list, up at 5am and out exercising summer, winter, rain, hail or shine. I have an enormous battery that can’t switch off when I am passionate about something and I love life. It’s a good thing my battery is self charging! I only eat excellent food and I get excellent energy. In return I enjoy fantastic health.
Knowing that formula works, I do the same with my mind and finances. I see big shifts happening all the time and I am rewarded with like minded people travelling on the same path and all supporting each other. The formula never fails.
The formula to get what you want is to be clear about it and then make sure it happens by making steps towards it every day.
I like the advice of wanting what you want and not what somebody else wants you to have…
We can only have this is we take responsibility for our own life…
Yes, I do really want what I want!